Misdefining the Challenge Cannot Solve Not Racism

 There is a problem with our societies system of welfare.

A couple of things, first we know that families that have a male figure in the household have a better probability of their children becoming more successful adults, i.e. avoiding the criminal justice system. Second, there is a finance cost to raising children the welfare system provides for that a family accordingly. In other words, the more children you have the more money you receive as your benefit There is a break even level but,that is a money management level that isn't sustainable, expenses happen- life's lottery if you will. The welfare system does not allow the fathers, the male figure, to reside in the household, as he would become a part of the family unit or on welfare himself, He would not be eligible for benefits, no one has figured out what happens if he identifies as a female what the consequences of that might be. That is a topic for another blog. 

We have a system that waves a carrot, more money for more children, and denies the children the benefits of a father figure in the household. If he's living there then the money goes away. The welfare system has created it's own catch 22, the result is our prison population goes upward. 

Since these rules apply to all women, regardless of skin pigmentation, it is NOT a RACIAL ISSUE. It does come down to personal decision making and individual responsibility, there will always be exceptions, life happens. Calling this a racial issue says that one race is inadequate to make good personal decisions and is unable to be individually responsible.That is Racist by its very definition.

Is there a way to have the father figure in the household and maintain the benefits of livability level of the cash necessary to raise the child? 

Historically, the community or the community of churches took care of the families that were unable to manage the finances of life. Then it became government's business and government used the money that the working class were putting into the Social Security to pay for these children and the mess exploded.  

Is the challenge systemic? Is the system the challenge?

The Fear of Success is every bit as Powerful as the Fear of Failure

 The Fear of Success is every bit as powerful as the Fear of Failure.

In order to become successful you must do a couple of things as a matter of living, first you must not limit yourself and second you must not limit those around you. 

Let's take the second one first, the simplest way is to guide those around you toward their success. Easy to say that much more of a challenge to do. You first need to know what their success looks like to them and second how close to their reality that success is. Coaching them on the way toward that success, you aren't their limit master and a part of your coaching is training them not to be their own limit master. You have to get to know the person, that means investing your time and energy in meaningful conversation and developing a level of trust between the both of you. As the Optimist Creed would say, "Being Just as Enthusiastic about the success of Others as you are about your own". I've always found that part of the creed limiting, the "Just As" I would prefer the word "MORE"  Society already has far too many limit masters. Optimist don't need to be limiters! Your goal is to torpedo as many limit masters as your life's journey can find. Which brings us full circle to the first, not limiting yourself.

Mistakes and misques are a part of the journey, they are there. It is what you do with those mistakes and misques that make you either moving toward your success or away from your success. Owning it, defusing it, learning from it, getting back up from it and continuing to move toward success.

I/we don't deserve success, or this much success or stated slightly differently, I'm successful, I Am successful. I Am is, has been, and always will be successful. That is why He is the Great I AM. We were made in His Image so deny this is to deny God. 

Guilt is another tool that hampers success. I Am too successful. Stated that way, there is no such thing, it simple is not possible. 

This is not winning the lottery, it is not taking short cuts. It is not about stepping on others so that you appear to be climbing on their backs, when you are lifting them up toward their success you will benefit, that is a reward for your helping them. The more you can help them the higher you can go. Helping them also means helping them move on to different chapters in their journeys, they will from time to time leave you either for a different chapter so where else or they may be called home to the Lord. 

It is great for me to be successful but, not for you. In other words stingy, I want to keep all of my success and you can't have it/any. Here your objective is flawed and will lead at best to a now satisfied level of success where you constantly need more because your emotional purpose is empty. You may well have financial reward, but it is like your favorite toy on the day before Christmas, so the one toy you always wanted and couldn't live without and just another toy the day after Christmas. Short lived.

A Rising tide rises all the boats in the harbor, each of us does better when one of us does better. The tide is American's Judea-Christian capitalism. 

When you have plenty of success you have plenty of success to give away. When you have little success you have plenty of success to give away. The truth is you have plenty of success. Hording it only makes the supply of success grow smaller. You giving it only works when someone else isn't seeking to be the lottery commission and stealing it away from you.  

Give freely, shout enthusiastically, behave lovingly success will follow naturally.